You’ve Got Good Friends – Do You Need A Counsellor?
As much as we try to be our own counsellor and coach, sometimes we need some extra help. Some people think, though, that even if you’re struggling, you really shouldn’t need a counsellor if you’ve got good friends. What do you think? My article below explores the differences between friends and counsellors and looks at how distinct their roles really are:
Although counselling has become much more acceptable and valued in our time, there are still voices who consider that if you have good friends then you shouldn’t actually need a counsellor. Aren’t counsellors just people who listen to you? Can’t your friends do this for you?……continue… Do You Need a Friend Or a Counsellor?
Painting by Edward Hopper, 1929, Chop Suey.
I really welcome your thoughts and comments below.
This is a wonderful piece, Ruth. For me, it really depends on what the situation is. I am pretty guarded in general with what I do/do not share with people and certain friends are better support with some things than others. I tend to think of counsellors when it is truly a situation that is beyond me, that I cannot handle on my own, and no friend can really help with. The meaning of “friend” has changed a lot, I think, with Facebook…..a true friend is exceptionally hard to find, and a person would be lucky to have even one or two at any given point in their lifetime.
Hi Angela, we completely agree on the meaning of ‘friend.’ I agree – true friends are like gold dust and we are blessed if we ever experience the true depth of loyalty and trust that comes with deep friendship. I also agree that different friends support us in different ways. I think it’s quite healthy to be guarded. It can be unwise to reveal ourselves to the wrong people. I think we’ve all experienced that moment when we regret saying something to someone. It can be emotionally crushing and painful. Thanks so much for your excellent and thoughtful comment – you know that I appreciate it! 🙂
Glad to see you’re back and on the move again, Ruth. I’m planning on posting something along these lines on one tiny violet soon. I think you’ll appreciate it. You take care and be well. 🙂
Looking forward to it already Angela! 🙂
Good friends truly are a wonderful thing and sometimes they make all the difference in helping us get through difficult times, but you gave some excellent points for why having a counselor for additional emotional support alongside with having good friends may be a valuable resource during different points in our lives. Great post, Ruth.x
Hi Julie, thanks so much for your thoughts and for reading the article. I totally agree with you about the value of friends – they can be a wonderful support to us. It’s good to know also, though, that we can have the extra resource of counselling – if it is ever needed. We can have both! Lovely to see you here! xx
An excellent piece, Ruth and so completely true! When my daughter lost her husband several years ago she was surrounded by family and supportive friends, when certain members of his family turned very negative towards her and her children, it was the independent, clear thinking counsellors who made a huge, positive difference for this family in understanding, coping and protecting themselves from negative onslaught. I enjoyed your post!
Hi Penny, yes, you highlight a vital part of therapy – that the counsellor is an objective and impartial listener. Thanks you so much Penny and I’m so glad that counselling has had a positive impact on your family and helped with all that it has had to bear. Glad you enjoyed the post too – thank you! Warmest thoughts to you today xx
A very well written piece Ruth While I can count good friends on one hand.. I know from experience that confiding in friends while often sharing our thoughts can be good to get feedback as comments bounce back and forth.. When faced with a really personal problem or even if you are in the process of loss~Grieving etc… A counsellor would be my choice….
Having had to use a Counsellor in the past, I found that I could speak my feelings and thoughts, and my outpourings of emotions were never judged or stopped, I was allowed in my own time to get out of my system my long held in emotions which had resulted in my Emotional nervous breakdown,
My family and friends were far too close to me for me to open up to my real feelings… The therapy helped me enormously in helping me understand how even from early childhood those feelings had been surprised…
Loved your post Ruth…
Sue xox
Typo Erro.. The word should read Suppressed, not surprised! …….. 🙁
Got it Sue – thank you! 🙂
HI Sue, you highlight so well a really important part of counselling. That our outlet of emotion is not being ‘judged or stopped.’ You are so right, this is a most valuable part of the professional therapeutic relationship. It really is almost impossible for those close to us not to reflect some form of judgement or distress when faced with torrents of difficult emotions. And as we both know and believe, getting those emotions out is one of the key things for good emotional health. Thank you so much for your insight and sharing your experiences – I really appreciate it. Love to you xx