The Walk To School: A Child’s Voice
How important is a child’s voice?
Today, from my window, I saw a child walking to school with his mother. I’ve seen them before. He is straining to look all around him, wearing his little backpack, tugging at her to gain attention, and she is wrapped up looking at her mobile phone as she hurries him along. The sight saddens me. It’s not far to the school, just a few minutes walk. What could be so important on the phone which would cause her to miss out on some cherished moments of time walking, talking and smiling with her child?
Like the photograph, here is my picture: the young boy is looking around, pointing, and his mother is answering, chatting, engaging. They laugh as hand in hand they glance at things together. They learn about each other as they walk and they form bonds and memories which will remain forever. Memories which show the child that he is valuable, important, worthy of time and worthy of attention. This sets up a standard – a benchmark – by which all other people and relationships will be judged. These are my childhood memories and every day I am thankful for them.
On a personal note, I don’t have the blessing of children and this causes ongoing grief for me. Maybe this means I cannot speak of these things for I do not know the claims on time, the urgency to get to work, the pressure of competing priorities? Maybe I am being judgemental or idealistic? Or maybe I am quite well-placed to observe. For no-one cherishes and values more the things that they cannot have and sees more clearly what others have – what others sometimes take for granted – when they cannot have this themselves.
On a professional note, as someone who has counselled adults on self-esteem issues, I can only mention how vital it is to remember that every moment spent with a child which offers them value, attention and time, gives them an irreplaceable bank of memories which eases their path through life. Nothing else later in life will ever, or can ever, fill this gap if it is a gaping void.
So still I wonder, what could be more important on the phone than listening to this precious child’s voice and noticing his laugh and smile? For a parent, these moments will never return. All too soon these years will pass. Another email, another text message, a client’s problems – can they really compete with your child’s voice and smile on that walk to school? And can those phone messages really be as important as showing your child an irreplaceable truth – that their voice matters.
I really welcome your thoughts.
A really great post Ruth, such a good message/reminder for parents…
Hi Julie, thanks so much – glad you liked the post! Sending the sun over to you today.. 🙂 🙂
I see this same scenario so often Ruth… And its not just confined to walking to or from school unfortunately.. As it seems the gadgets take control within the home such as the new Tablets and fancy phones as people would sooner it seems talk via text than face to face..
I watched a programme last year about a family of four.. who never sat down to a meal together.. When this was highlighted.. and a meal together was shared for the TV programme.. No one spoke to each other.. they still had their heads in their mobile devices… So sad indeed…
I know from my own Grandchild how demanding of attention they are.. I always try to listen.. and can see her frustration when her Mum at times is engaged in conversation and she wishes to speak… She competes with her voice getting louder to be heard….
Children are influenced at such an early age.. and will take on board emotional baggage.. Working as I do within Support.. Personality Disorders are often a result of insecurities from a young age which has left them traumatised..
Another wonderful enlightening post Ruth… and one I hope message is taken heed of… Love and Blessings… Sue xox
Hi Sue, thank you so much for your excellent comment. You’re so right, this problem is everywhere. Although I was talking here about children and parents I also think it’s so prevalent in adult relationships. People are often inattentive towards each other – particularly the ones they love. It seems to have reached epidemic proportions. Thank you for your great support, as always, and I’m so pleased the post struck a chord with you – I knew it would though! Much love Sue on this beautiful sunny Sunday. xx
Hi Ruth, I am currently doing a paper on counselling and came across this website and saw your post. I cant help thinking about it as i know the feeling of wanting a child. But i too have seen this where the mother ignores the child just today i saw a mother smoking and the smoke is going into the child’s face while she is on the phone and i thought wow that’s just crazy. i know a different issue altogether but still very bad!
I have cited your post on counselling in my paper 🙂
So glad you found the article helpful for your counselling paper – thanks so much for letting me know. I agree, there are so many of these issues around us. Really appreciate your thoughts and comment. 🙂
I am really fortunate to have been able make the 10 minute walk home with both my children when they were at primary school. It wasn’t just a lovely time of being with them, it was having no other distractions and being there to listen to their day.
But most importantly I could sense by how they walked and talked as to whether they had anything on their mind that they wanted to offload – a fall out with a friend, disappointment at being picked last for a team for PE, struggling with a test.
Now they are older and have moved schools I miss that little walk, but I still make sure we have time in the evening to catch up and chat.
You make such an important point here Ruth and it’s also a good reminder for me too. Thank you.
Hi Carolyn, Thanks so much – glad you enjoyed the post. Yes, it’s just essential to find that time to talk to the children in our lives. Lovely to see you! 🙂