Actions Speak Louder Than Words
We all know the famous proverb ‘Actions speak louder than words,’ but it’s surprising how often we all disregard it.
Throughout our day and our lives we are constantly trying to make sense of the world, make sense of people and understand what is going on around us. Our main line of attack and defence in doing this is to listen to what people say, to pay attention to their words and closely take on board what is being said to us. We look to glean meanings, often hidden meanings, in words that are being said to us. As important as this is, there is also an equally important, perhaps even more important, thing we need to do in order to understand people and their intentions. Look at what people do. Look at their actions.
Here are a few statements:
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‘I’m sorry, it won’t happen again. You know I just get so angry and I can’t help myself. I love you.’ – says a violent partner, repeatedly.
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‘I really want to be home at nights for dinner, I know how important it is to you, but it’s crazy at the office. Maybe next week…’ – says the workaholic partner who never makes it home for a family meal.
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‘We are here to help the poorest members of society gain entrance to university’ – says the politician who cuts grants for poorer students to access higher education.
The words sounded good, but the actions showed the reality. Actions trump words every time. Whenever you struggle in a situation, or in any kind of relationship, and wonder what is real and what is true, look at the actions of the person, company or institution. Words role off the tongue. They are easy to calculate. And they come from the mind. Actions reveal the true situation. They show you , with a clarity that words do not, what is really going on in any situation.
Look at peoples’ actions rather than their words. In the examples above, actions are needed if the words are to become genuine. Such as, going for anger management counselling, cutting back on work hours, being true to a political pledge. Without those concrete actions then the words are meaningless. The words are little more than calculated lies. Lies calculated to deceive us.
It’s much easier looking at actions rather than words. You can gain a clarity which is unassailable. As you look at the match, or mismatch, between actions, you have a better chance of not being duped, of being in a happier relationship, and of placing trust in the right people. Every now and then, it’s even worth imagining that you are unable to hear the words, that the words don’t even exist This leaves you able to focus solely on the actions which yield truths well beyond any words
Actions speak louder than words.
Ironically, never were truer words, spoken.
Can’t see a way to ‘like’ this?
It’s only recently been possible to put the Likes up on self-hosted sites Paul. I don’t have them turned on at the moment on this site, Thanks so much for looking though, Paul. 🙂
So very absolutely true! Most people show you who they are, rather than tell you. I’m with you on this. Well said.
Thanks so much Marlene – glad we are at one on this. I appreciate you stopping by and letting me know. 🙂
All so very true Ruth, we really do need to be sure to follow our words with actions. And may I also add that the words we speak (or write) hold much power in them and we should always choose them carefully. As one who’s primary love language is “words of affirmation” (The 5 Love Languages book by Gary Chapman), I tend to place extra important emphasis on words. Not only on the words I use, but also on the words said to me. I have found that I am so very easily swayed by “sweet talk” and that has led to much heartache when those sweet words have not been followed up by action. In turn, I am also easily wounded by the harsh words said to me and really take them to heart. The old “sticks and stones” bit is so not true. Good post Ruth. Well, I’m off for a mini vacation this morning, so I’ll be gone for a short while. (I’m sure I’ll write about when I get back ;)) Until then, take care, be well, and much love to you Ruth! ♥
Hi Julie, you’re so right about the ‘sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me,’ it’s one of the most untrue statements I have ever heard. I completely agree with you about the power of words and using them wisely. More true than ever, I think, in social media where our words can stay forever! Thanks so much for your great thoughts. Hope that you have had a lovely mini vacation? Take care Julie xx
Very true Ruth, see it a lot.. Thought provoking post.. We each are subject from time to time by Words that never ring true.. or that are not backed up with action..
Nice to be back catching up on things..
🙂 Sue
Hi Sue, yes, you’re so right, we encounter this a lot – not just on a personal level, but within institutions and governments. Great to see you here and thanks so much for popping by! 🙂
I love this post, Ruth! It is such a major issue in our lives, on so many levels. I see it playing out in my own life continually, with other people I’m in relationship with and also with myself (much harder to pin down and fix!) I always tell my son — who just interrupted me on the phone for the 1billionth time — don’t SAY a thing, DO a thing, and if you do say a thing be sure to back it up with actions. It is so essential as truth and sincerity is diluted to the point of non-existence in our culture. Say what we mean, and do what we say, right? Sounds so simple…..then why is it so hard?
Thanks for a fantastic and thought-provoking post. I love the no-nonsense perspective. We need more of that! 🙂
Hi Angela, thanks so much – I’m so pleased you liked the ‘no-nonsense’ approach! It’s how I often write but then temper it down, a little fearful of being too strident. You are so right about it being difficult and also about the culture we live in diluting these principles. All around us we keep seeing poor examples, with people in authority particularly, and we now almost accept this as the norm – we rarely believe the words of politicians’ for example (certainly over here in the UK anyway.) Isn’t this shocking! It’s pretty hard to fight against the whole. But I do think that each one of us matters and makes a difference and we can be the example – it’s an ongoing quest though, as we are swimming against the tide. Let’s keep trying though! Glad you enjoyed the post and great to see you here 🙂
Great post Ruth and a great reminder to look beyond the words we hear! Actions and body language are very revealing, not to mention those ‘gut’ feelings we get that alert us to something not feeling right with someone or something. As you explained so well, it is the actions that give the words validity; otherwise the words are just sounds coming out of the speakers mouth! 🙂
Thanks so much Cathie, really glad you enjoyed the post and I appreciate you popping over and letting me know. Totally agree about ‘gut feelings’ too! 🙂
Thanks for such a truth filled post. I often find myself writing about how words can affect ones self-esteem for London Counselling Directory and I found this insightful and hope to be able to incorporate your input into my future posts.
Glad you found the article helpful – thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment. All my best to you, Ruth
Very nice and helpful information has been given in this article
Thanks so much – glad you found it helpful! 🙂